You are on your way to the networking event. You’ve prepared yourself by working on your 30 minute message, you’re dressed appropriately, you’ve done your homework on the key people you want to connect with at the purposeful event you’ve chosen. The next step is to be prepared to engage in a compelling conversation. What is so hard about having a conversation with someone?
Susan M. Heathfield, author of the article, “Your Image Is You: Communication and Appearance in Networking” states that, “Your communication and the image you present create the first impression – often the lasting impression – on the people you meet.” Studies by Dr. Albert Mehrabian at UCLA revealed that when we try to convey meaning through our communication with others, the majority of our message is communicated nonverbally and through voice and facial expression. Approximately seven percent of the message is communicated by words. Therefore generating a compelling “small talk” conversation following your 30 second message can leave nothing to chance.
So how do you excel at creating a compelling conversation? Here are a few pointers to remember:
1. Be yourself. Always be upfront and honest with people. By being honest, open and vulnerable, you allow other people into your life. They get a glimpse of who you really are. Sincerity is a reflection of your true self.
2. Nonverbal cues. (1)Smile: Professor James V. McConnell, a psychologist at the University of Michigan, states that, “people who smile tend to manage, teach and sell more effectively”. A smile says, “I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.” (2) Have a warm, firm handshake; (3) Maintain good eye contact; (4) Have your arms unfolded and relaxed; (5) Lean into the conversation without invading the other person’s space.
3. Personalize. Nothing means more to an individual than their name. Always remember and use the first name (if appropriate) of the person you are talking with during the conversation.
4. Appreciation. Lincoln once began a letter saying: “Everybody likes a compliment.” William James said: “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” Here is where your homework comes in handy. Pay a compliment to the individual regarding a recent accomplishment either work or personal, or related to his/her family. At a minimum, if appropriate, you can always compliment them on their appearance.
5. Active Listening: Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a major impact on the quality of your relationships with others. According to Mastermind Tools, we remember a dismal 25-50% of what we hear. That means that when you talk to others for 10 minutes, they only really hear 2½-5 minutes of the conversation. The way to become a better listener is to practice “active listening”. This is where you make a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying but, more importantly, to try and understand the total message being sent. Need a refresher on active listening, visit: http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm
6. Talk about their interest. Dale Carnegie, author of “How to Win Friends & Influence People”, states that, “The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.” Remember when you end your 30 second message with a question, gear the question toward the person you are talking to. Have other “related” questions in your pocket to use. If all else fails, use these five words: “You’re wonderful. Tell me more.”
Creating compelling conversation is an art, and requires practice to refine. Remember at a networking event, your conversation will be brief, so be sure to be prepared to leave a memorable close to your conversation. Gracefully leave the conversation with a question such as, “I’d love to learn more about that. Can I call you for lunch soon?” or, “It sounds like we have a common interest. Can we meet soon to discuss further opportunities?” And of course, don’t neglect letting the person know you enjoyed meeting them!
Are you following up or failing after the networking event? Don’t miss out on Tip # 5: Begin with the End in Mind!
Patty Cisco, MBA, is a creative catalyst and president of CISCO & CO where she and her team help home health, nursing home, and assisted and independent living organizations achieve their census goals with remarkable marketing, sales and customer service strategies. Patty invites you to connect with her on Twitter and/or Linkedin.
References:
“Your Image Is You: Communication and Appearance in Networking” by Susan M. Heathfield,
Mindtools.com http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm
“How to Win Friends & Influence People” by Dale Carnegie
